I worked in a three-Michelin star restaurant for $11.50 an hour for two years. I left in 2018 and went into a small restaurant/butcher shop to interview for a job as a butcher.

The interview went OK, until we got to the last question. “What wage do you want to make?”

For whatever reason, I had not prepared for this question. I’d spent the last several years working my ass off for experience and making little (or no) money doing it. My mind went blank for about 10 seconds before I frantically remembered another job posting on this company’s website. I blurted out, “$15 an hour,” remembering a pay rate I’d seen for a line cook job at the same company. It sounded like a lot of money to me.

The person interviewing me took a couple seconds and then just said, “With your experience, you should be asking for more.” 

I basically did everything wrong in this situation. But I know I’m not alone when it comes to having a hard time negotiating. There’s a lot of things about the restaurant industry that make it difficult. 

But it’s a really important skill to have and something we all have to work on.

It’s really hard to go into a negotiation thinking you don’t deserve more money, but I think that’s where a lot of us start. For me, I’d heard a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t be paid more from “we need to cut labor costs” to “you need to work your way up” to “it’s not about the money, it’s about the experience.” In so many words, the work you do is valuable, but not THAT valuable. And that was just my experience as a white woman working in relatively high-end establishments. When we look at the industry as a whole, the wage picture is rather bleak. 

Overall, in the bottom 10 worst paid jobs in the U.S., six of them are in the restaurant and foodservice industry. Women make up the majority of workers in four of those. And when we look at race combined with gender, the disparity is even more pronounced. 

Why do I bring this up in an article about negotiating? It’s important to have the larger systemic context of what you’re working against. Because if you go in and ask for more money and you don’t get what you want or need, why is that? Likely, it’s not solely on you. There’s a lot of other stuff happening that prevents your boss from giving you that raise. So at that point, it’s up to you to decide whether it’s worth it to stick around or find somewhere else to work.

Because I had such a hard time negotiating, I talked with Rachel Ramsey of Measured HR to get some tips. She’s worked in the restaurant industry as a cook and chef, and now has her own HR company that consults with restaurants (i.e., she always has great advice). 

Know When to Ask

Typically, you should be receiving cost-of-living raises at least every six months. Besides that, keep an eye out for scope creep. “Scope creep is when the scope of your responsibilities tend to start creeping towards other roles,” says Ramsey. “I would say if those [additional] job duties start to encroach upon 15 percent of your work, that’s a good time to start talking to your manager about a raise or title change.”

Research the Market Rate

It’s essential you go into a negotiation with data. Research the market rate for your position, or the position you're starting, on websites like LinkedIn, Monster, or Glassdoor. They will generally have a salary range for your area and you can use that number as proof that you deserve more money. 

Brag

The other essential data you should bring is a list of accomplishments, additional tasks you’re performing, or any other metrics you can show your boss. “I know we don’t like to brag on ourselves,” says Ramsey, “but that’s exactly what you’re doing when you’re negotiating a salary.” 

If you have all that data to back up your claim, it helps validate what you’re asking for.

Set Boundaries 

Do your research and decide what the absolute least you’ll accept is. Consider other pieces of a package like health insurance, paid time off, gym memberships, wellness bonuses, mental health and transportation stipends, and child care contributions. There are a lot of different benefits that restaurants can offer, and many are getting creative. If your restaurant or company can’t match your needs, it may be time for you to look for another job. 

Don’t Apologize

“Don’t utilize phrases like ‘I’m sorry.’ That 100 percent takes away your power,” says Ramsey. Sometimes we work for companies that tout a family culture or where it’s considered an honor to be working there. But it’s still a business and you are an employee and you are entitled to a fair wage for the work you do. 

You’re Worth It

Hospitality folks generally aren’t paid enough and I think we have a hard time valuing our skills. Working in a restaurant might be a stop-gap for some, but for many it’s not. It’s a career, a profession, a craft, and an industry we will be in our whole lives. 

So, yes. You are worth more money. It’s up to you to ask for it. 

Katy Osuna is the co-creator and executive producer of Copper & Heat podcast, the James Beard award-winning podcast that explores the unspoken rules and traditions of restaurants.